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A lot of strippers aren't like the obvious stereotype — they are real and normal people, and if you met one who wasn't working, you probably wouldn't be able to tell.

Man A: It [made it] easy to be open about the bedroom considering that [talking about sex] was a part of our lives at that point. Sex is always a touchy subject at the beginning of a relationship — we kind of bypassed that and become more forward about what we wanted.

It changed me permanently in all my future relationships, as I see beating around the bush as childish now. We're all adults, so we should be open to talking about sex without snickering or blushing.

Man B: After my initial reaction, it's developed into something we both find really, really sexy and is often a part of our play.

Often we dirty-talk through scenarios relating to it, and it's really sexy for us. Man C: I personally think it is extremely sexy that I am dating a stripper.

There is just some kind of allure and taboo that makes it exciting — I mean, you are literally dating someone whose job is to be sexy and alluring.

However, I was incredibly insecure about it for a very long time. She kind of plays a character when she's at work, so I was worried about whether she was being sincere with me sometimes, and also knowing she's giving multiple guys lap dances a night was very weird to deal with I got over it, however.

Man A: She did dance in private but it mostly devolved into playing around; at work, she was a professional and needed to be in character.

At home, she was herself and her goofiness showed through It was impossible for her to keep a straight face.

Man C: I do get quite a lot of "private dances"— usually I have to take her out to dinner first She hated the men at work but enjoyed the attention; she said the girls were very toxic and had to walk on eggshells not to offend someone.

Man B: I'm curious and have often asked her questions about it. She's happy to talk, and it's been interesting to learn both her experience and perspective, as well as stories of the clientele and club.

Man C: I do like hearing about it actually. The stories aren't what you would expect — she won't sit there and talk to me about how she gave someone a dance, it's more like, "I was sitting and talking to this regular, and here is what kind of crazy stories he told me.

Whether it's drama with other girls or the customers, it's all really fun to hear and I don't mind at all. She also sends a lot of funny stripper memes my way and those are always fun.

Man A: It created jealousy but at the same time [dating a stripper] was a source of pride I never asked her to stop, it was a way for her to support herself.

Man B: I feel like had this developed later in our relationship when I had been more experienced with non-monogamy because we tried non-monogamy later in our relationship , I would've been much less bothered by it.

After she told me, we tested out what [non-monogamy] was like on one night where she was on a shift and I knew that she was on a shift, and I couldn't handle it.

It made me sad and jealous, and then guilty for feeling sad and jealous. But at that point, I wasn't able to be comfortable in that situation.

I asked her to stop [attempting non-monogamy], and she did If she has felt conflict or frustration with me for that, she hasn't really voiced it.

Man C: It was a source of conflict for a while, but we have long since dealt with it and I'm a lot more comfortable with it now than I've ever been.

I wanted her to stop once and asked her to, but I regret telling her that. All I want is for her to have a job that she loves and can support her. And [sure] she was hot.

My Take: I would like to ask for a round of applause for this average, not-giving-a-shit guy! I just needed to get this off my chest. Everyone is so perplexed why a good young man like me is dating a stripper.

My Take: Awww. This is so sweet! And sad. Anyone can date a stripper if they want to. They were all very attractive and pulled in tons of money.

In order of meeting them:. Stripper 1 was a cute blonde that I met at a Cafe. She was intelligent, was into role playing games, and was a generally all-around awesome person with no issues.

I spent the summer with her and a group of friends until I moved. She even ended up dating my close friend and roommate after I had left. Stripper 2 was a woman I dated in New York.

She had no parental support so she ended up stripping to support herself through college. She stopped stripping once she found a web design job in New York.

Stripper 3 was a friend I met in New York. She was the antithesis of stripping in the sense that when I first met her, she was a Bible belt preaching southern gal.

She had the attitude of no sex before marriage, and was really a prude. I guess the allure of quick money got to her.

I think her morals came back to haunt her and she left New York. We had become close friends but eventually we grew apart after she moved.

My take: See? Breaking up for normal reasons, trying to find a better job that suits them, getting through traumatic issues, and even contemplating their moral ascendancy.

This brief and positive account makes me feel like I should try being a stripper. Technically, they are now called exotic dancers or just dancers, in general.

Author Info Last Updated: August 31, Offer the benefit of the doubt. Before you even step into a club, make a conscious effort to be open-minded.

Don't assume that because they are strippers, they must be promiscuous and unable to make money in any other way.

Some dancers are very intelligent and might be doing what they do to pay their own way through college or nursing school.

Other dancers might have had very unfortunate circumstances that you couldn't even imagine, and might be working at a club to feed their family or send their child to a good school.

It's very easy to judge a book by its cover, but you'll never get very far with a stripper worth dating if you go that route.

Know what you're getting into. Strippers get lots of attention, in the club and oftentimes out of it. If you can't handle your partner receiving plenty of admiration, dating a stripper is probably not for you.

Don't go into a relationship with a stripper thinking you can 'change' her or expect her to get another job. Either accept that she strips or find someone who doesn't.

Find a club where you feel comfortable. Usually the type of club you go to will determine the type of women that work there. Some clubs are characterized by very young inexperienced girls, jaded veterans, gold diggers or all of the above.

It's a good idea to avoid women who are usually attracted by the gangster type male who can give them some sense of protection and follow their party life rhythm--you might get lucky with them but they're not good dating material.

Go for the gentlemen club type places where you can usually find more educated dancers, sometimes college students or even college graduates.

These girls are usually far more interesting and open to socializing within the confines of their workplace. Show up early. Go to the club right after they open, usually in the first hour or hour and a half after they open, the place is dead and the strippers are just chilling, hanging around, practicing pole-tricks and talking to each other.

This is the best moment to try to approach them without feeling under pressure because they are still not in their crazy money-making mode.

Start a conversation. Be sweet and non-judgmental. Lots of these girls are used to getting the worst treatment from men who regard them as a disposable pieces of meat.

Listen to them, give them a chance to open up and tell you their stories which are usually interesting , and show genuine interest in their activities outside the strip-club.

Don't focus your attention on their bodies. Everybody likes compliments but they get them all the time. Use eye contact, not leg or bust gawking.

Instead of complimenting their body parts, tell them they look good in their new outfit compliment the color scheme or they are really improving a lot on the pole-tricks, stuff like that.

Ask them about books, movies, school, family, life and they will find you a lot more interesting to talk to than most of their customers.

Tip her on stage, but don't get a lap dance from anyone. If you pay for a lap dance from her, she will consider you a "regular" but do pay her for her time if your talking her up for awhile she is at work after all.

She will never date you once that business relationship with her is established. And if you're not getting lap dances from her, it's definitely NOT a good idea to get dances from any of the other women.

When you're tipping on stage, however, you should tip all the dancers, just tip her a little extra.

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